Have You Dated Someone Like ‘Alex/Lex’?

They arrive with soft eyes, thoughtful questions, and just the right amount of emotional depth to make you feel like the main character. They’ll talk about books, music, polyamory, and emotional intelligence. They’ll nod when you share your trauma. It all feels safe. Seen. Special.

But what feels like intimacy can turn out to be a performance. The story is set in Aurora, Colorado. Dating them was like living in Scranton —

🌈 What They Seem to Seek

• Sexual Novelty
• Sexual Gratification
• Power
• Control
• Admiration
• Affection

💼 The Arc I Experienced:

Idealization → Devaluation Loop:

They’ll say things like:

“You’re secure in my heart.”

“You’re not in trouble.”

“You’re so pretty.”

They’ll mirror your desires and offer a connection that feels real. They might plan low-effort, high-impact dates—museums, gardens, dance classes, free tickets, or even introduce you to their family.

But over time, you may begin to feel like their personality is a costume. Something starts to shift the moment you ask for more—honesty, presence, reciprocity.

😶 When the Mask Slips

Once you’re no longer new or easy to impress, things change.

Or they storm off mid-conflict, turning your pain into a punishment.

Eventually, they may invite you to break up—not because they want it to end, but because they don’t want to be the one to end it.

And behind the scenes, they’re already warming someone new.

The mask slips,

🧩 Patterns I Noticed:

• You’re constantly unsure of where you stand.
• You start lowering your expectations to keep the peace.
• They hurt you, then act confused or wounded by your reaction.
• When you ask for repair, they reframe your pain as “drama.”
• They avoid direct conflict but punish you with distance or silence.
• You pull away, and suddenly they’re full of affection again.

Whether they like you or not, their investment rarely deepens. They either do the bare minimum to keep you around or slowly ghost, always leaving a door open for their return.

🔨 Here’s how to know you’ve met someone like Lex:

• You’re constantly confused. You’re never quite sure where you stand. • You keep lowering your expectations to stay. • They make decisions that hurt you and then act surprised when you’re hurt. • They avoid accountability by reframing your valid pain as drama or rewriting the story entirely. • When they hurt you, they “check-in” a few days later as if nothing happened. • You feel like you’re always the one causing issues. He is the victim. • When you pull away, they suddenly remember how much they love you.

Remember: people like Lex don’t break your heart outright.

They unravel it slowly. With half-truths.

With ghostings wrapped in softness.

With performances of growth, they never intend to live out.

You are not difficult. You are not dramatic. You are not asking for too much.

You’re having a normal reaction to being treated like an object, not a person.

And if you’ve never seen this side of Lex?

Consider yourself lucky—some people are kept around for image, not intimacy.

Be thankful.

This site is a personal reflection of lived experiences and emotional impressions. All statements are intended as subjective accounts and opinions. Names and identifying details may be altered or generalized for safety purposes. The content is not intended as factual allegations but as a narrative grounded in personal truth, meant to validate others who have experienced similar patterns.

Everyone is encouraged to form their own opinions and seek clarity through respectful, direct communication. Not responsible for stories shared.